Wednesday, January 02, 2013

You're not my type

"You're not my type" was all that she said as she was leaving. That's it. No "goodbye", "thank you for dinner", "nice to meet you" or anything of the sort. Just "you're not my type"

 I wonder what it was that made her reach this conclusion. Was it the mustard I dropped on my shirt? The fact that I wore Nike sneakers to the dinner? My loud voice? The fact that I am 112kg overweight or that she is taller than me? All of the above? Who knows...

 Dating is such terrible sorrow these days. Women won't even spare my feelings anymore. It used to be that they would end the date by saying "nice to have met you" then proceed to ignore my calls for 6 months until I finally got the message. It used to be that they would smile at the end of the date and thank me for having such a wonderful time, then proceed to defriend me on Facebook, block my calls and get a restraining order. It was all so civilized before.

 "You're not my type". Couldn't she have just ignored the hole in the back of my pants? It was a small hole after all. Is it my fault if I can't find jeans that fit me anymore? Besides, I was wearing underwear. It's not like I was dating commando.

 Women today are completely weird. They expect to be wined and dined, they expect the man to wear nice fashionable cloth, they expect to be picked up, they expect to be handed some flowers and so much more. Don't they know that we work for a living and that money is not infinite? Next thing you know, they'll start asking us for 3 months bank statements along with a salary certificate before accepting a first date.

 "You're not my type". That's too bad because you were my type. Tall, blond, nice curves - in the right places, deep blue eyes, smart, funny and rich.

 Haroun El Poussah

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