Friday, February 09, 2007

Is she worth it?

Relationships are hard. They are hard to start, hard to maintain and hard to end. Relationships are also complicated. No matter what we say, any relationship worth having is both hard and complicated. The question that I often ask myself when I look at a woman is: Is she worth it? You see, in my opinion when I start a relationship, I take on a series of responsibilities and challenges. Starting a relationship means not running away at the first sign of trouble, it means sticking by her during the good times and the bad times, it means accepting the unacceptable, it means compromising on what you thought was un-compromisable, it means swallowing your pride to preserve hers, it means loosing yourself so that she can find herself. These are not easy things to do. But once you start the relationship, this is what you must be prepared to go through.

So, back to my question: “Is she worth it?”. “Would I be willing to go through the gates of hell for her?”. If the answer is no, then better to walk away. I always feel that relationships are out of 10. If one party gives 8, the other will give 2, if one party gives 4 the other will give 6. When I explain this concept to most people, they immediately assume that the successful relationships are those where both give 5. This is, in my opinion, not correct. Successful relationships are those where the numbers change constantly and no one keeps track.

Unfortunately it is very difficult not to keep track. It’s human nature. It is human nature to bicker and count mistakes and to re-open dead issues over and over and over again. That’s just the way we are. It takes a supreme effort that goes against everything we stand for as human beings to not do that. So, my second question for a relationship is “Is she worth it?”. Is she worth that effort? When the day comes that I have to choose between her and the bickering, who/what will my choice be?

Relationships are hard. They end. They end badly. They end in disaster. And they hurt. However, there are also good things in relationships: The companionship, the closeness, the sharing, the intimacy, the comfort and so much more. How do you balance those two? For me, I simply try to weight one against the other and just ask myself “Is she worth it? Is she worth the risk?

The beauty about such a question is that it really allows me to test everything against it. For me, it just comes down to that simple equation. Is everything that will happen next worth the risk of what might happen afterwards?

I know it might sound selfish at first glance. But when you really look at it, it is not really. It is a question that insures that I will try my very best, each and every time. No compromises on that. If she’s worth it, then she deserves my best, nothing less

Haroun El Poussah

13 Comments:

Anonymous A said...

I know that it is a very selfish view...

To me the question you should ask is whether the two of you together is greater than any one of you as individuals. The sum of any relationship should always be greater as a whole.

I agree it's never easy, but I'm sure you can make more of an effort.

Maybe she has a point with some of that bickering...Maybe you should do something about it and listen a little!!

7:42 PM  
Blogger Hatem said...

Is she worth it?

NO!!

5:12 PM  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

So exactly at what point, would you decide whether he/she is worth it? Surely some time and effort needs to be invested before a concrete conclusion can be made.

9:26 PM  
Blogger i*maginate said...

Interesting post. I share your view. As individuals we go through ups and downs and if we are to continue in a relationship, we have to judge whether the time is worth investing in that person.

The pressing issue is, when is the right time to end? I find, sometimes the relationship ends before it even started, yet we continue. If you rely on the power of instinct, you will know if she is worth the risk. And there is no point in wasting your time and effort on someone who's not worth the risk.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Taunted said...

No, Relationships are difficult. They are difficult to start, difficult to maintain and difficult to end.

A rock is hard, glass is hard, diamonds are hard. A relationship is difficult, if not tricky!

Well at least when you knock one out you're making love to someone you REALLY love.

10:12 AM  
Blogger BuJ said...

how very true.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Qatar Cat said...

This is by far my fav post of yours, Haroun. With your permission (I suppose you'll be your usual generous self and allow me) I will copy it on my blog.

Thank you!

Needless to say, I agree with everything you said here.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Prasan said...

I feel it!

11:47 PM  
Anonymous Katrene said...

May be before you haven't had "real" relationship? Believe me, when you meet "your" women you will became masochist and will be happy because of this.

1:21 PM  
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11:38 PM  
Anonymous viagra said...

You right, you just need to be patient I guess because a relationships are about talk and listen.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Dakuro said...

Well what can I say I like to fight for what I want and I'm a relationship men, I don't like to be promiscus, maybe it's not the word but what the hell, anyway if I date a... chinese woman for example I know about traditions and stuff, I will fight no matter what, if I love her of course.

10:14 PM  
Anonymous pay per head said...

Your blog is very interesting and your way of writing is also very good.

1:03 AM  

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