Egypt

I never thought Egyptians had it in them. I just didn’t.

Once again, Egypt and Egyptians prove me wrong. And, for once, I am proud they did!

Haroun el Poussah

Anna

Anna: “Allo”
Me: “Hi, Anna. It’s Haroun”
Anna: “who?
Me: “Haroun”
Anna: “I don’t know any Haroun’s”
Me: “We met yesterday at the Buddha Bar”
Anna: “I have never been to Buddha Bar”
Me: “Yesterday”
Anna: “Nope”
Me: “Sure, it’s you. I recognize your voice. “
Anna: “Nope”
Me: “Hum, If you don’t want to talk to me just say so, but don’t tell me you weren’t at Buddha bar last night”
Anna: “I wasn’t”
Me: “Ok, would you like to have coffee with me this weekend?”
Anna: “You must be mentally retarded”
Me: “Yes, that’s what most girls I meet say”
Anna: “Well we haven’t met and I can tell it’s not all Kosher up there”

Haroun el Poussah

Not Funny

Last night I went to the Buddha Bar. I found a table. I ordered. I ate. I finished a couple of drinks. I left.

As I was walking to my car, a black Lexus SUV with tainted windows pulled up to me. I stopped and waited. Wondering who was behind the opaque glass.

I imagined a gorgeous tall brunette with penetrating black eyes and a pair of sensuous lips. I imagined her asking me for directions to her hotel room. I imagined her asking me if I wanted to join her for a drink. I imagined small drops red wine all over her... Hum, this blog doesn’t have a PG15 rating so I’d better just tell you who was behind the window

Anyhow, as I was saying, the car pulled up and the window slowly came down. Sitting, in the passenger seat was.... My ex.

Ok, so no wine, no tall brunette, no penetrating eyes. Well, penetrating but for different reasons

She asked me if I wanted to join them for a drink, which is surprising considering we haven’t spoken in quite some time. But, I am not one to refuse free drinks. Even from the devil himself. So, I acquiesced to her request (I watch too many movies)

We went back in and I ordered my usual Black Russian. Although, since I have watched the Big Lebowski for the 100th time, I am considering switching to white Russians. But, I digress. (been taking English classes)

As we were sitting there, her, her beau and myself, a friend of her joined us. For the sake of preserving the dignity and privacy of anyone who can be friends with my ex, we will call her Anna.

Anna, was decent looking. Not gorgeous. Not ugly. No fake nails. Smelled nice. I love it when a woman smells like a woman should

We shared a few drinks, a few laughs and as we were walking about I asked Anna for her number.

She gave it to me. Just like that. No argument. No discussion. 056 1649210

I will be calling her in a few minutes. Wish me luck

Haroun el Poussah

Comback Kid

All I usually ask for in a woman, on a first date, is that she have 2 arms, a couple of eyes, at most one nose, a couple of ears and some hair. I never thought this was a demanding thing to ask for.

Until last night

Last night, I met this girl for the first time. She did have the right amount of limbs, ears, eyes and two nostrils exactly, no more, no less. However, I discovered that I need to add a few things to my list of “asks”

I know, I know, most of you think I will add stuff like brains and sense of humour. But really, in the dark, do these things matter? These things are only used to get to the “in the dark” part. But once there, it’s not what matters

What does then?

1. Smelling good – maybe good is an over-reach. Smelling neutral
2. Clean feet
3. Lice-free hair
4. No runny noise (imagine hearing a “sniff sniff” in between every “oh yes”)
5. No artificial nails. They hurt and break

It seems that the dating landscape has changed in the few years since I have reported my adventures. The comeback may end up being more difficult than expected

Haroun el Poussah

I am back

Like Conan the Barbarian and Doogy the Terminator, I am back!

Yes, ladies and Gentleman, it seems that life, circumstances and my desperate need for attention have gotten the best of me and the Dubai Dating Chronicles are back

Over the last few years, my dating skills have, unfortunately, not improved. I have been dumped, ignored, shun, emotionally castrated (not to mention a few attempts at physical castration) and the wind of time has not made me any wiser when it comes to women.

I am back, these are my chronicles. Enjoy

Haroun el Poussah