Monday, September 19, 2011

In Ancient times...

Over the course of history, there are only two professions that have existed and flourished in every civilization on every continent. The profession I would like to discuss today, is mentioned in both the Koran, the Bible and the Torah and it is not that of Prostitute and this one is not mentioned in, at least, one of these books.

It is the profession of peer to peer money Lender. Or "Lender" for short

Since the dawn of time, some people have needed something that other people could provide. And, since the dawn of time, there were individuals willing to Lend for a price. These people have been hated throughout history and have been vilified as the lowest of the lowest scums

In fact, they provide an important and necessary service that has contributed to the advancement of man in to the modern society. In the times before recorded history, Lenders gave meat to the hunters during winter to enable them to keep their strength and hunt during the summer. The payment? More meat!

Later, Lenders would provide grains for crops in exchange for… More grain! And, when they could not provide this grain, the village would die. yes, yes, starve to death.

Over the years, this profession was hated by everyone. Not because it was not a necessary cornerstone of society but because they rates they were charging were outrageous and most importantly the collateral they were requesting was high

Collateral. The collateral they were requesting is the bones. They would break them if you didn't pay. Understandable since they had no other way to secure their investment. The threat of breaking every bone in the Lendee;s body was the motivation to pay back

So, most of you are by now, either asleep - bored to death, or wondering why I am sharing this in a blog called the Dubai Dating Chronicles.

Well, I met a Lender last night. She gave me sex… in return for…. more sex

Haroun El Poussah

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Shadows in the night

It was dark. She was naked. It was humid. The AC did not work. She was annoyed. She huffed and puffed. The TV was showing an episode of friends (The one with the Duck)

A few days ago, an old friend of mine called to see if I wanted to go for some drinks. Those of you, dear readers (few as you have become) that know me personally know that I am not a big drinker. 10-12 beers a night would be the usual for me, no more. My friend, by contrast is a big drinker. I usually think twice before going anywhere with him. His secret weapon is to always tell me which beautiful woman will also be there. This time, it was Odette.

Odette is Linchsteinian or how ever else you call people from Liechtenstein. Odette spoke english with a delightful accent that was neither french, not german but the accent of someone who speaks 4-5 languages and has no defining accent in any language. She was tall, blond and most importantly had a wonderfully intelligent smile.

The linchtenstanian is a beautiful language. Full of words that rhyme with Lich, Stan and Stein. It flows on the tongue like hot honey on a nostril. And, Odette spoke Lich, Stan and Steinian beautifully. She whispered in my ears Lichtan words of seductions, Stanian words of mystery and a few Steinian words that I later found to be insults. She did that all night

The evening went well. I was my usual charming self and we had a good time. Then, as the evening was ending and it was time to ask for the bill and reach for our wallets, Odette asked my friend if she could sleep at his house that evening. Something about her boyfriend not liking it when she got home late and drunk.

The night was young. Odette was home. I was alone. The AC was back on. The sheets were wet. It was humid still. I was sweaty. I has slept alone. Again.

Haroun El Poussah