Reema

So, we met up for Dinner. After considerable debate with the Hotel concierge, I decided to leave the hotel and reserve in a Lebanese place called Tannourin (Or something similar). A nice little restaurant where we could have some decent food and a few beers.

We met in the hotel lobby and I told her of the plans. She seemed disappointed. She said: “Let’s stay close to the rooms, you never know where this evening might lead to”. Obviously, I was encouraged by this comment, it seemed like I might have some “fun”… Finally.

However, considering that I do have some standards and minimum requirements for ladies I jump into bed with, I insisted on dinner outside. I thought that if I didn’t like her I could just have the taxi deposit her at her hotel (Sheraton) on the way back.

We arrived at the restaurant and were directed to a table for 4. Now, I am a bit old fashion and I like to sit opposite my date. I mean, it allows for easier conversation and it would also give me a perfect, un-obstructed view of her perfect smile. She came and sat NEXT to me. Hummm…

We sat, she ordered scotch (weird for a woman) and I ordered a beer as I always do. Then she looked me straight in the eyes:

Reema: “I want to fuck”
Me: (Blushing, tomatoing, gasping)
Reema: “I want to fuck now!”
Me: “Errrr”
Reema: “I only have one day here, why are we spending it here instead of bed?”
Me: “Errr, I can’t fuck on an empty stomach”
Reema: “??Excuse me?”
Me: “I can’t get it up on an empty stomach, so I guess we are stuck here if you wanna fuck”

Having read all the comments that you, encouraging souls, have left on the blog about her being a whore, I was naturally defensive. For those of you who will continue to read those chronicles, I must clarify that I have never paid for sex and never will. Absolutely never, no matter what the consequences. And, in this case I was starting to have my doubts about her integrity and whoreness

So, we sat there, and I was getting neck pains from trying to talk to her sitting next to me. I mean, how convenient is it to try to engage conversations with someone sitting to your right? I am sure I will wake up in the morning with neck pains and will be unable to turn my head. We talked about many things, here’s a summary:

1. 9/11 was organized by the Japanese
2. Brad Pitt is hot
3. Last year she visited Portugal and spent 2 weeks in the Capital Madrid
4. France won the world cup
5. Zidane is hot
6. Kuwait is in Africa
7. Saudis are hot

So, after 90 excrutiating minutes of this blabbing nonsense, I paid the bill and asked for a taxi. When she heard me ask the driver to take us to the Sheraton she said: “You wanna fuck in my room? Let’s go to yours”. And, I told her: “Sorry, the food was not that good, I won’t be able to get it up. I am so sorry. Maybe tomorrow”

So, dear readers, once again, disappointment was on the menu…

Haroun El Poussah

Amman Nights

This morning I landed in Amman and I was standing in line for passport control I noticed a lady in another line eying me with a big smile on her face. At first, I was not too sure it was me she was eying, but after looking behind me, to my left and to might right, it appeared that it was either me or the 12 year old Cameroonians to my right.

I was flattered, so flattered that I smile back. Of course I was helped by the fact that she was quite good looking. She was definitely my type. She was dressed casually (Jeans) yet elegantly, walked with an attitude and has that wonderful smile. She was carrying a laptop travel bag telling me that she was here on business.

Unfortunately for me, she cleared passport control before I did and my hopes of getting an opportunity to talk to her vanished.

When I cleared customs and stepped outside in the airport building, I was shocked to see that she was standing there, apparently waiting for someone. As I got closer, she looked at me, smiled and started to walk towards me. I blushed. IN fact I turned tomato red. She walked just up to me and said: “Hi, I am Reema”.

For those of you who don’t know me, I ma not a natural with women. I blush a lot and am not as forward as I should be if I wanna be successful

Nevertheless, I managed to answer: “Hi, I am Nahoun, err, Hounan, err, Houhan, err, Haroun, Haroun El Poussah”

The conversation followed:

Reema: “Nice to meet you. Which hotel are you staying in?
Me: “Four Season”
Reema: Me too, Me too. How about Dinner tonight?”
Me: “…..”
Reema: 9pm?


So, it looks like I have a date. Wish me luck

Haroun El Poussah

This is going to be harder than I thought

So, last night I had a blind date that was arranged by a co-worker. I was sitting at the designated table in Biella, she came in, stopped, looked around, saw me, turn around and left.

Haroun El Poussah

Old enough to procreate, old enough to date?

My first experience was last night.

I was told by a friend of mine that a friend of one of his friends had a friend, who had a friend, who had a cousin, who had a brother, who had a friend who was single. “Practically family” is what he said.

After a quick brainstorm as to the best way for me to meet this supposedly gorgeous single lady, and after I vetoed nightclubs, it was agreed that a dinner at Cucina in the Marriott would be arranged and that she would be seated next to me.

Since we were going to be about 25 people (all the “friends” were showing up) we decided to book the entire upper floor of the restaurant.

I got there fashionable early as I thought I should for a first “date/Encounter”. Obviously I am getting old and haven’t dated in a while because no one showed up les than 30 minutes late. So, 50 minutes late she shows up. I must admit that, at first, I thought she was the kid sister of one of the guys. She looked 15 and was acting 12. I only figured out that she was my “date” when she was promptly seated next to me. So, I tried to engage conversation. I didn’t know what topic of conversation to open with such a young lady. I assumed the Ken and Barbie were out and these were the only things that I know about 12 year olds. You see, I have been raised a perfect gentleman and I would never ask a lady her age.

“I am 20” she volunteered out of the blue. I thought that this was a bit too young for me and I mentioned this to my friend. He said that 20 years old were the best marriage material since you can mold them to your liking. I tried to explain to him that Marriage was not what I was looking for but to no avail.

Apparently there are only two first date options in Dubai

1. Group dating in anticipation to an engagement proposal
2, Chit chat and lots of drinks in anticipation for guilt free drunken sex

Well, since I am not interested in either (For the time being at least… I am not YET that desperate), I politely ignored her the entire evening.

However… (You simply knew that I would not write anything if the evening had been THAT boring). So… However, at the other end of the table there was a lady sitting. She must have been 28-30. She had one of those captivating smiles. The kind of smiles that make you dream about what might be and what would be. I managed to catch her eyes from across the room and we exchanged one of those nods that might say so much but often say nothing more than: “Yes, I saw you looking at me, please look elsewhere you idiot”

Under the table, I started smsing everyone for information on her. Turns out she is married with 4 kids… Oh, well, a wasted evening!!

Haroun El Poussah

Introduction

So, who am I and why this blog?

I am 37 and recently separated from my long time girlfriend. Which means that I am now "in the market" for a new relationship. Over the last week or so, I spent most of my time trying to remember the abc of dating. You see, dear reader, it has been so long since I have been on a date that I had forgotten the very basics. For instance, last time I was on a date, I paid for everything, now, my friends tell me, we go Finladian (Each pays half). In the past, a first date was a meal, maybe a walk, and asking for a new date. Today, I am told, it's a meal at McDonald's, followed by a quick trip to Spinney's to buy some Durex, followed by a night of sex and, maybe, coffee the next morning. Unless the sex was bad in which case she disappears early. In the past, during a first date, I tried to be funny, witty, smart and well mannered. Now, I am told, I should put the keys to my BMW on the table for her to notice, I should wear my Rolex and tell her how expensive my previous holidays to Monte Carlo was. A long time ago, in what seems like a galaxy far, far away, I would select an out of the way, cozy, romantic restaurant. Now, I am told that a small, very crowded (The more the better), with mind shatteringly high music that tare your ear drums apart forever, smelly, full of cigarette smoke place would be very much appreciated.

So, I have put some rules to my going back into the game:

1- I shall not sleep with the woman on the first date
2- I shall pay for the first date
3- I will not cheat on any. I might date several in parallel (Yeah, right) but I shall not sleep with more than one (As if I could even if I wanted to)
4- I shall not lie. I shall represent the truth under its most favorable angle

So, ladies and gentleman, these are my chronicles. The stories of my dates. Each story will be different but they will all be true...

Wish me luck...

Haroun El Poussah