Saturday, November 11, 2006

Thursday night

The day started well, I had a gala dinner to go to and a date to accompany me. I also managed to wiggle my way out of the dinner and re-arrange the date for a nice Italian restaurant in town.

From there, it all started to go wrong. You see, this is the concept of Murphy’s law. As soon as you get excited about something, circumstances conspire to make it all go as wrong as it can go.

Trouble started at around 9am as I was having breakfast with my boss and started to have stomach cramps accompanied with blinding headache. I started frequent trips to the bathroom vomited a couple of times. “Great”, I thought to myself, “great start to the day”

Because of that, I started running late on my schedule and I soon realized that I would not have time to go home and change before dinner. Disaster! It was the first time I met the lady and I was wearing my outdoor clothes since I had organized a brainstorming session on the beach that morning for my team. Obviously, Murphy intervened one more time and made that day the hottest and most humid one yet in November. This means that I was sweating like a pig all day.

Can it get any worse? You betcha it can!

As the day progressed my headache and stomach cramps were getting worse and worse. By 2pm I was on my 11th Panadol of the day and was starting to feel really tired. My date was at 8:30 and I was so much behind on my schedule that I was starting to wonder of I would make it. This is when the guys decided to order lunch in. “Great” I thought, an opportunity to catch up. As we are all gathered about the conference table munching on Chillies delivery, my secretary comes to talk to me about an important phone call and in my haste to get to the office, I drop a good portion on Guacamole on my Jeans! Can it get any worse?

At that point, I was considering calling my date and asking her if we could arrange for an underwear date. Because my jeans were in no condition to accompany me on a date. However, my secretary reminded me that the Italian restaurant I had selected did not allow underwear dinning. (Can you imagine the arrogance?). She also mentioned that some salt and soda could help. “Great”, I thought, “Salty pants” will be my new nickname from there on

At that point in the day (Around 4pm), I was utterly exhausted. I mean, really exhausted to the point that I was thinking of having a nap in my office. Of course, as soon as I decided to do this, 200 new things came up for me to do

At 7pm, 90 minutes before my date, I was running really behind on the schedule for the day. I had stomach cramps, had used 14 Panadols and had a blinding headache and was about to go eat with a woman I had never met but was quite excited to get to know

Can it get any worse? You betcha it can!

At 7:11pm precisely, my secretary comes into my office and notices that one of my shirt buttons has fallen! Fuck this Murphy guy. Fortunately for me, she is an expert at these things and proceeds to fix the problem. More delays on my schedule. At that point, I am simply exhausted.

So, to summarize, it takes about 1 hour from my office to the restaurant, it’s 7:30, I am about to leave, my jeans is stained (huge), I have stomach cramps, a blinding headache, 19 panadols, a missing button on my shirt, I am dressed beyond casual and had no time to change, I smell like a pig and I am on my way to a date that I was really, really looking forward to.

As I reached the hotel, I noticed that no-one would get next to me because of the smell. I quickly stop at the hotel gift shop for some Cologne but can’t find any. I buy deodorant and After shave instead. Just when you think it can’t get worse, it turns out the deodorant is the type that makes a HUGE humid stain under the arm pit. Now it looks like I just ran a marathon and am still sweating like a pig. The good news it that I now smell like a mixture of cheap aftershave and even cheaper deodorant instead of sweat!

Now, Murphy’s law would tell me that, in order for the evening to be complete, it would have to be that the lady I am about to meet, turns out to be hideous, mentally retarded and simply un-datable. Even worse than Death By Boredom date.

I arrived at the restaurant with a minute to spare. I like to be on time. Of course, Mr. Murphy intervenes and She calls to say that she would be late. Traffic. At that point, I am now struggling to keep my eyes open. I am so tired, that the room is spinning. To add to my state of mind, at that point, I was starting to imagine that the only natural conclusion to such a day would be that my date turns out to be my Ex in real life. You know, like the “Do you like Pina Colada and Champagne song”. Anyhow, I was too tied to care.

At 9:03pm, my phone rings, she is here, I slowly stand up and look around and….

There she is. And, it’s not my ex. In fact she is quite different than my ex. She looks different, she dresses different and she walks different. Even in my tired, dazed state, I could tell it was not my ex. I said hello and we proceed to head to the table. She thought I let her walk in front out of politeness but I was just worried that she would notice the huge stain on my jeans. Adrenaline was kicking in at that point and I was quickly recovering. Did I mention that the stain was in a strategic location on my jeans? I wouldn’t have wanted her to think I had an orgasm just from seeing her. Or worse, that I peed myself

I sat, making sure she would not notice the missing button (I am not sure if she did or not) and proceeded to talk to her.

This is where the big surprise came. Murphy had apparently called it a day. Because, not only was this girl cute, she was also smart. A lot smarter than me at least (I am just being modest). She had a nice sense of humor. Told me 7 times during dinner that what I was saying was rubbish and completely wrong (I am not sure if men usually find this insulting, but I found it amusing). As she was talking to me about this or that, I was looking at her with a smile on my face. She thought I was making fun at her and laughing at her, but in fact, I was wondering what such a smart woman was doing there, sitting across the table from me. While that conversation was going on, my dating advisor, Noora from Sex And Dubai, kept calling and pestering me for information. Of course I ignored her, not wanting to interrupt the interesting conversation I was having. And, frankly, afraid that my date would use any pause in the conversation as an excuse to ask for the check and end the evening.

Eventually, all good things must come to an end and we asked for the check. As we were walking out the restaurant I walked in front for a split second to open a door and I am quite sure she noticed the stain, the missing button and so many other things.

As she was getting into her car, I had a smile on my face for I knew that I had just met a wonderful lady. “Too bad”, I thought to myself, “That I am not her type”.

She drove off into the Dubai night and I am quite sure that she will not give me a second chance to use the brand new jeans that I will have to buy. But, that’s okay, win some, lose some, the important thing is to have enjoyed it. And that, I did

Haroun El Poussah

15 Comments:

Blogger BuJ said...

How interesting! Well.. maybe she will surprise you and call you back? Anything's possible! Women are difficult to predict.

One point though, what's happening with the panadol? 14 tablets in a day is seriously worrying. I hope you do not do this too often.

Good luck and keep writing!

9:23 PM  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

WOW! that was a loooooooooooooooooonggg post!

Anyway just to clarify:

a. you did not smell cheap
b. layala did not notice the missing button
c. the stained jeans weren't noticed either

Obviously you did a fabulous job of covering up your exhausting day and the above! Well done!

12:04 AM  
Blogger Living Away said...

Oh God!! I can’t stop thinking about one thing: why did you eat Chillies if you were having a stomachache? To give Murphy’s law a hand? :)
For sure! If she got interessed on you, doesn’t matter all those troubles… she calls back!

Leandra - CH

12:50 AM  
Blogger Luna Piena said...

i never read long posts... but i could smell disaster by the 8th letter. what a day!! that counts as an overdose doesnt it?
i wont give u the 'she might actually call u' speech. cuz im sure u know best..
but u should also have a little more self-confidence dont u think?
you seem quite cool from your writing..
u should believe it.


Good times.
Peace.

2:45 AM  
Blogger Marishka said...

Well Haroun, there's always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Your extremely shitty day ended really well :)

I dont think you should worry about your unfortunately shabby appearance...if I was the girl - as long as the guy apologised for his unkempt look (a stained arm pit and jeans, missing buttons are really noticeable unfortunately) and managed a lively and interesting conversation I would definitely call him back! so don't worry mate, looks like u did quite well!!!

Living Away - why did he still eat Chillies even though he had cramps? BECAUSE ITS CHILLIES FOR GOD'S SAKE - U JUST CANT RESIST IT. The Chillies in London really sucks by the way - so much for standardised globalisation hmph.....

Cheers!

6:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long day ended with a sweet date...

Worth venting about ! and worth smiling about!

See you made such a good impression on her she was either:
1) comfortable enough to overlook and not even notice your wardrobe mishaps
or
2) enjoyed your company enough to not even give her time to pick on the 'greasy' details...

either way, i can bet she enjoyed her time just as much as you did...

good luck finding 'her' :)

Love your blog by the way..i'll be reading :)

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

isn't it interesting that most of the people who comment on this blog are women? Who is this haroun guy who's trying to appeal to the pathetic and intellectually challenged females of dubai? and why is he in search of the perfect woman? if such a woman or man for that matter exists anyway...

8:00 PM  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

@anonymous:

Big deal - if most of the people commenting are women? How is that even relevant? Most commentators on our blog are married or in relationships - we don't get your inference.

As for who Haroun is - a great guy looking for his match...just like most singletons out there.

The perfect partner does not exist - but we're pretty sure someone damn close is out there.

12:20 AM  
Blogger Luna Piena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:28 AM  
Blogger Luna Piena said...

to anonymous...

you seem way too bitter... almost as though you've been really hurt by an actual intellectually challenged female.

and the perfect person IS out there. or personS even. only depends on your definition of perfection.

12:32 AM  
Blogger Marishka said...

@ anonymous

geez dude you need to take a chill pill.

its sad to to see MCPs in today's fast-evolving culure. 'Pathetic and intellectually challenged females'?

sex & dubai - dont you think this guy needs a wake-up call? May be 5 cold showers ought to do the trick :)

hey anonymous - one simple rule for self-contentment : if you don't like it then dont read it.

4:14 AM  
Blogger Sex and Dubai said...

Details Haroun??? What happened Tuesday night in Turkey!?!!

9:45 AM  
Blogger BuJ said...

looking forward to the next post!

7:01 PM  
Blogger hebe said...

ouches , when things go bad they go bad quite thoroughly . still kudos to you for making the best of a messy situation

1:53 PM  
Blogger Qatar Cat said...

Oh lol that's some day indeed!

When something like that happens to me, when I screw up so majorly that the only thing I can do is sit down and laugh - I remind myself that it's days like this that stick in our memories :P

We never remember the times everything goes according to the plan, and the routine takes over. What we do remember is the screw ups, and this is one awesome screw up you've got posted right here. Loved it!

2:49 PM  

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